When Hiring, Mix Harvard Nerds With Chicago

I Am Extremely Square And Obedient In Nature!

I Would Not Trade Any Of These Features For Anybody Else’s. I Wouldn’t Trade The Small Thin-lipped Mouth That Makes Me Resemble My Nephew. I Wouldn’t Even Trade The Acne Scar On My Right Cheek, Because That Recurring Zit Spent More Time With Me In College Than Any Boy Ever Did.

I Think Women Dress For Other Women To Let Them Know What Their Deal Is. Because If Women Were Only Dressing For Men, There Would Be Nothing But Victoria's Secret. There Would Be No Dior.

No Other Formula Gives Your Baby A Better Start In Life Except That Stuff That Comes Out Of You For Free.

You Transition As A Mother From Literally Just Pulling A Booger Out Of That Person's Nose Whenever You See One Until At Some Point They Assert: "no, I'm A Person. You Can't Fix My Underpants On The Subway."