When I Play Poker, I Don't Like

George Carlin Is Kind Of My Template Now Because George Carlin Before Was Straight Laced Regular Comic And He Had Short Hair, A Tie, Suit, Nightclub Guy. Then He Said Screw It, Let His Hair Grow, Just Started Telling What He Thought Was The Truth. So That's What I'm Trying To Do.

The Economy Is In Trouble, Schools Are In Trouble, And People Have Been Leaving The City In Droves For A Long, Long Time.

I Loved The Old Stories In National Lampoon, Like The Original Story The Movie Vacation Was Based On. I Used To Laugh At Them Until I Cried.

I Don't Know What People Are Going To Think Of My Stand-up. If You Only Know Me From 'the Price Is Right' And 'the Drew Carey Show,' Then You Might Be A Little Bit Shocked. I'm A Little Dirty And A Little Opinionated But All In Fun.

If I Wasn't A Comic Or Tv Star, I Really Wanted To Be A Photojournalist.