When I See Friends From School I

Guide Dogs For The Blind. It's Cruel Really, Isn't It? Getting A Dog To Lead A Man Round All Day. Not Fair On Either Of Them.

Actually The Best Thing I Did Was To Get Thrown Out By My Wife. She's Living With A Fitness Instructor. He Drinks That Yellow Stuff In Tins. He's An Idiot.

Actually, Bizarrely, In America, I Get More Appreciation From The Odd, Unusual Stuff I've Done, Almost Because I'm Not, If You Like, Famous In America As I Am In England.

I Don't Like Big Feet. It Reminds Me Of Gammon.

I Never Had Any Desire To Be Famous. I Find People Who Do Really Sad. I Genuinely Feel Sorry For Them Because There Is Nothing Of Substancein Their Lives. I Am Happy When I Am Writing Or Performing. Not When I Sit There Being "famous". I Like Recognition For My Work, But Not Recognition For Being "that Bloke Off The Telly". It Is Genuinely Humbling When A Woman Comes Up To Me, As Someone Did Recently, To Say She Wanted To Commit Suicide After Her Husband Died, And My Show Cheered Her Up And Made Her Feel Better. That's Great.