When I Take My Kids Out For

Very Few American Parents Give A Crap About How They Raise Their Kids. They Put Minimal Effort Into It. Who Told You It's A Good Idea To Buy A Developing Mind A Video Game?

I Could Never Sit Down And Write Jokes.

I Know I'm Getting Old Because There Will Be Times When I'm Not Even Doing Anything And I'll Think, 'i Need To Go Wipe My Ass Right Now.'

Self-love Is A Good Thing But Self-awareness Is More Important. You Need To Once In A While Go ‘uh, I’m Kind Of An Asshole.’

I Had Five Dollars In The Bank That I Couldn't Have For Three Days Until They Charged Me Another 15. Leaving Me With -10. What Does That Mean? I Don't Even Have No Money Any More. I Wish I Had Nothing. But I Don't Have It. I Don't Have That Much. I Have Not Ten. Negative Ten. I Can't Afford To Buy Something That Doesn't Cost Anything. I Can Only Afford To Get Something That Costs You Give Me Ten Dollars.