When I Was Straight, I Had The

There's Always Somebody Older, Richer, More Desperate Than You.

God Gave Us Intestines For A Reason. I'm Not Keen On Surgery. It's Too Extreme. All It Took Was One Of Those Plastic Surgery Shows To See How Violent It Is.

I'm Happy When I'm Juggling, But I Feel Like I've Gone From, Like, 3 Balls To 10 Bowling Balls. But, That's A Good Problem. I Don't Really Have A Complaint About That.

I Have A Hotline To The Tabloids. When I Get Up In The Morning, I Call The Star, And The Last Thing At Night, I Call Them. I Want Them To Have The Inside Track.

There's A Lot More To Life Than How Fat Or Thin You Are.