When The Kids Are Laughing In The

The Only Reason I Got Into Stand-up Was Because My Brother Told Me To. I Had No Idea What I Was Going To Do With My Life. I Was 17 And My Brother Went To A Comedy Club And He Said - You Can Do That.

I'm Pretty Hot, Right? Very Hot, If I May Say So Myself. Don't You Feel The Sex I'm Radiating?

I Don't Laugh At Me. I Used To. I Used To Get The Giggles When I'd See Myself. But Now, I See Myself Onscreen, And I Sure Don't Laugh.

I Prefer Musicals, Because I Am The Best Dancer Who Ever Lived. The Best Plies, The Best Sashays, And By Far The Best-smelling Capezios.

The Problem With Me, As Far As Getting Married And Having A Family, Is That My Comedy Is So Important To Me. So I Don't Know If I'll Ever Be As Good A Dad As My Dad.