When You Actually Meet The Devil And

I Don't Really Compartmentalize Well. I'm In A State Of Anxiety And Panic A Lot, But It's For Different Reasons. It Used To Be Because I Had Nothing Going On, But I Work Very Hard And There Doesn't Seem To Be An End To It.

They Used To Have A Smoking Section At Most Airports. No More. They Now Have These Glass-encased Rooms. You're Not Just A Smoker, You're An Example To Other People. You're An Exhibit At A Futuristic Zoo.

You Know When You Make Popcorn There Are Always Those Fluffy White Kernels That Are Fun And Good To Eat But There Are Also Always Those Burnt, Black Kernels That Don’t Pop. You Know Why They Don’t Pop? Because They Have Integrity.

When You Commit Your Life To Something And It Doesn't Work Out, It Is A Tough Place To Be. Suicide Can Be The Spiritual Reprieve Of A Faithless Person. I Knew I Could Always Just End It, And There Was Solace In That.

Most Of The Comics That I Talk To I've Never Talked To For More Than Ten Minutes Ever. So 95 Percent Of The Time You're Really Hearing The First Conversation Between Me And That Guy On The Podcast.