When You Delete Pictures Of Your Ex

When You Don't Have Love, It's Like There's A Party Going On, And Everybody Was Invited, Except For You. And You Just Happened To Be Walking By That House In The Rain...

Text A Guy You Like Right Now, "i'm Thinking About You." If He Says, "mmm Are You In Bed?" Never Speak To Him Again He's A Lifelong Moron.

You Know What I'd Like To Be Able To Do More Than Anything Else? I'd Love To Be Able To Shoot Spaghetti Out Of My Fingertips. Pppptthhh! Cause No One Wants To Be Covered In Spaghetti. No. If I'm On A Date With A Girl And She's Very Rude, I'd Be Like, You Know What? Pppptthhh! Enjoy Your Spaghetti, You're Very Rude. Enjoy Your Spaghetti, Cause You're Rude. Pppptthhh!

I Always Wanted To Do A B&e. Not Bacon And Eggs. Although I Could Always Go For Bacon And Eggs. I'm Talking About Breaking In And Entering.

Nothing Is A Better Icebreaker Than A Great Joke.