When You Get Older You Have To

The Federal Government Has Sponsored Research That Has Produced A Tomato That Is Perfect In Every Respect, Except That You Can't Eat It. We Should Make Every Effort To Make Sure This Disease, Often Referred To As 'progress', Doesn't Spread.

... All Of Us Talk Faster Than We Listen.

If You Get Murdered Because You Go On A Date With Someone You Met On The Internet, You Probably Deserved It.

We All Ought To Understand We're On Our Own. Believing In Santa Claus Doesn't Do Kids Any Harm For A Few Years But It Isn't Smart For Them To Continue Waiting All Their Lives For Him To Come Down The Chimney With Something Wonderful. Santa Claus And God Are Cousins.

If You Put On An Item Of Clothing That Hurts Just Because You Have An Idea It Looks Better Or Conforms To What Other People Are Wearing, It's Dumb.