When You Go To An Art Gallery

Although You Might Have To Creep About At Night And Lie To Your Mum It’s Actually One Of The More Honest Art Forms Available. There Is No Elitism Or Hype, It Exhibits On The Best Walls A Town Has To Offer And Nobody Is Put Off By The Price Of Admission.

Policemen And Security Guards Wear Hats With A Peak That Comes Down Low Over Their Eyes. Apparently This Is For Psychological Reasons. Eyebrows Are Very Expressive And You Appear A Lot More Authoritative If You Keep Them Covered Up. The Advantage Of This Is That It Makes A Lot Harder For Cops To See Anything More Than Six Foot Off The Ground. Which Is Why Painting Rooftops And Bridges Is So Easy.

I Have No Interest In Ever Coming Out. I’m Just Trying To Make The Pictures Look Good; I’m Not Into Trying To Make Myself Look Good. And Besides, It’s A Pretty Safe Bet That The Reality Of Me Would Be A Crushing Disappointment To A Couple Of 15-year-old Kids Out There.

Remember Crime Against Property Is Not Real Crime. People Look At An Oil Painting And Admire The Use Of Brushstrokes To Convey Meaning. People Look At A Graffiti Painting And Admire The Use Of A Drainpipe To Gain Access.

Think Outside The Box, Collapse The Box, And Take A F**king Sharp Knife To It.