When You're Eight Years Old, Nothing Is

Children Ought To Watch Pornographic Movies: It's Healthier Than Learning About Sex From Hollywood.

When You're Eight Years Old, Nothing Is Any Of Your Business.

Dig: I'm Jewish. Count Basie's Jewish. Ray Charles Is Jewish. Eddie Cantor's Goyish. B'nai B'rith Is Goyish; Hadassah, Jewish. If You Live In New York Or Any Other Big City, You Are Jewish. It Doesn't Matter Even If You're Catholic; If You Live In New York, You're Jewish. If You Live In Butte, Montana, You're Going To Be Goyish Even If You're Jewish.

My Only Challenge Was To Tell My Truth, Man... Figure Out What I Had To Say. These Days, It's Not Enough To Boost That Roomful Of Strangers. The Young Comic Spends All Their Time Trying To Sound Different From The Million Other Jokesters Grabbing For The Mic.

To Say Whatever Nonsense Comes Into Your Head Without Any Repercussions Has Got To Be A Bigger High Than Heckling A Movie Screen In A Darkened Theater.