When You're The Only Pea In The

It Was Dramatic To Watch My Grandmother Decapitate A Turkey With An Ax The Day Before Thanksgiving. Nowadays The Expense Of Hiring Grandmothers For The Ax Work Would Probably Qualify All Turkeys So Honored With Gourmet Status.

Scientists Have Been Struck By The Fact That Things That Break Down Virtually Never Get Lost, While Things That Get Lost Hardly Ever Break Down.

Most English Speakers Do Not Have The Writer's Short Fuse About Seeing Or Hearing Their Language Brutalized. This Is The Main Reason, I Suspect, That English Is Becoming The World's Universal Tongue: English-speaking Natives Don't Care How Badly Others Speak English As Long As They Speak It. French, Once Considered Likely To Become The World's Lingua Franca, Has Lost Popularity Because Those Who Are Born Speaking It Reject This Liberal Attitude And Become Depressed, Insulted Or Insufferable When Their Language Is Ill Used.

A Railroad Station? That Was Sort Of A Primitive Airport, Only You Didn't Have To Take A Cab 20 Miles Out Of Town To Reach It.

Voters Inclined To Loathe And Fear Elite Ivy League Schools Rarely Make Fine Distinctions Between Yale And Harvard. All They Know Is That Both Are Full Of Rich, Fancy, Stuck-up And Possibly Dangerous Intellectuals Who Never Sit Down To Supper In Their Undershirt No Matter How Hot The Weather Gets.