When You Want To Make It Clear

There's A New Ipad Out...people Are Going Nuts For This Thing...and, Today, Mitt Romney Said, 'it's A Flat Piece Of White Plastic. If You Can Love It, Why Not Me?'

Face The Fact That There's Only One Sure-fire Way To Erase Credit Card Debt. By Picking Up A Big, Shiny Pair Of Scissors And Cutting Your Wife In Half.

I Was Just At The Newly Opened Creationist Museum In Kentucky.... And They Have This Exhibit Of A Giant Dinosaur...with A Saddle On Its Back. Because The World Is Only 5000 Years Old, So Man And The Dinosaurs Had To Coexist, And, Of Course, We Rode Them. A Theory I Thought Laughable At The Age Of Eight When I Saw It On The Flintstones!

I'm Not A Joiner. I Don't Like Organizations.

Based On Every Statement I’ve Heard Out Of Any Republican In The Last Two Years, The Israelis Are Controlling Our Government.