Who But The Mad Would Choose To

One Could Argue That It's Romantic To Die For Love. Of Course, Then You're Dead And Unable To Take That Honeymoon Trip To The Alps With All The Other Fashionable Young Couples, Which Is A Shame.

I Changed My Mind. I Don’t Want To Be An Inveshtigative Journalist Anymore. I Want To Be A Professional Rum Drinker.” “there Are People Who Do That,” Duff Said. He’d Barely Sipped His Rum. “really? What Do You Call Them?” “alcoholics.

How Do People Stay In Love, Anyway? Is It A Choice? Or Is It Like Those Plants We Studied In Biology That Mutate Into Something New And Totally Different But Are Still Part Of The Same Plant Family?

Gonzo Narrows His Eyes. 'how Often Do You Clean That Thing?' 'every Night,' The Waitress Answers. Her Smile Is Strained. 'that's It? Do You Know How Long It Takes For Listeria To Grow Under Those Hot Lamps, Even With Ice?' Here We Go. 'it Can Happen In Just Five Hours. Five Hours And You've Got The Salad Bar Of Death!' The Waitress Looks Confused. 'from Listerine?

...because Really, Sometimes The Irony Gods Just Get Drunk.