Whoever Is For Higher Taxes, Feel Free

I Don't Like Those Men Who Claim That Their Wife Is Their Best Friend. . . . I Think Spouses Should Tolerate Each Other And Occasionally Have Sex.

If You Are Tuning In Just For The Show, You're Going To Be Sorely Disappointed.

The Reason Why You Know More Funny Dudes Than Funny Chicks Is That Dudes Are Funnier Than Chicks. If My Daughter Has A Mediocre Sense Of Humor, I'm Just Gonna Tell Her, "be A Staff Writer For A Sitcom. Because They'll Have To Hire You, They Can't Really Fire You, And You Don't Have To Produce That Much. It'll Be Awesome."

Having Sex Without A Condom Is Like Riding A Roller Coaster With Diarrhea. You Can't Just Throw Your Hands Up And Enjoy It.

I Guess My Feeling Is That If You’re Going To Make A Joke, That’s Fine, But You Should Also Sort Of Stand Behind It, You Know? A Joke Should Be More Than A Joke, It Should Be A Point That You’re Trying To Make.