Why Did Mitt Romney Strap His Dog

I Kid Fox News, But They May Be A Little Biased. We Had An Earthquake Here On Monday, And They Reported That 'the Earth's Crust Was Emboldened By Obama's Weakness.'

Being A Conservative Also Used To Involve The Concept Of People Being Free To Do Whatever They Want To Do, As Long As It Doesn't Hurt Somebody Else. Conservatives Used To Be Very Libertarian.

Now People Want Brian Williams To Resign, But It Could Have A Happy Ending. Apparently What He Said Was Such A Blatant Departure From The Truth, Today He Got An Offer From Fox News.

Every Time [rand Paul] Opens His Mouth, It Gets A Little Crazier. Today He Angrily Demanded That The Liberal Media Stop Quoting Him In Context.

New Rule: You're Never Going To Pick Up Women At A Coffee Shop Pretending To Be Working On Your Laptop. You Don't Look Like You're Sensitive, You Look Like You're Homeless.the Last Guy To Pick Up A Chick With An Apple Was Adam. And When You Sit Across From Another Dateless Loser With A Laptop, It Still Doesn't Look Like You're Working--it Looks Like You're Playing Battleship.