Women Are Never What They Seem To

Never Loan Your Car To Anyone To Whom You've Given Birth.

For Years My Wedding Ring Has Done Its Job. It Has Led Me Not Into Temptation. It Has Reminded My Husband Numerous Times At Parties That It's Time To Go Home. It Has Been A Source Of Relief To A Dinner Companion. It Has Been A Status Symbol In The Maternity Ward.

Every Puppy Should Have A Boy.

I've Always Felt There Are Two Things A Woman Should Never Do After The Age Of Thirty-five: Stand In Natural Light And Have A Baby.

In Russia, As I Sat There Day After Day Wearing Headphones, Listening To The Interpreter Struggle To Make Our Words Relevant, I Wondered If We Could Establish Meaningful Rapport With A Nation That Had Never Seen Raisins Dance In Dark Glasses On Tv...never Had A Garage Sale.