You Always Got To Be Happy When

What Do You Think The Devil Is Going To Look Like If He's Around? Nobody Is Going To Be Taken In If He Has A Long, Red, Pointy Tail. No. I'm Semi-serious Here. He Will Look Attractive And He Will Be Nice And Helpful And He Will Get A Job Where He Influences A Great God-fearing Nation And He Will Never Do An Evil Thing... He Will Just Bit By Little Bit Lower Standards Where They Are Important. Just Coax Along Flash Over Substance... Just A Tiny Bit. And He Will Talk About All Of Us Really Being Salesmen. And He'll Get All The Great Women.

I've Been To Many Funerals Of Funny People, And They're Some Of The Funniest Days You'll Ever Have, Because The Emotions Run High.

Steven Spielberg Seems To Have Wanted To Be A Director From 13. He Put His Dog In A Certain Position And Made Him Eat At Four O'clock. He Liked To Direct It. But, To Me, Directing Is Tedious. Especially If You're Acting In It. And I'm Inherently Lazy.

For The Most Part, Improvising While Cameras Are Rolling Is Very Difficult. 99% Of People You Should Never Ask To Do That, Because They're Under Pressure, The Clock Is Running, 80 People Are Staring At You...it's Always Unnatural.

You Can Equate Acting To A Tennis Game: When You're Playing One Of The Best, You Get Better.