You Can Never Trust What You Read.

And That's When She Put Her Book Down. And Looked At Me. And Said It: "life Isn't Fair, Bill. We Tell Our Children That It Is, But It's A Terrible Thing To Do. It's Not Only A Lie, It's A Cruel Lie. Life Is Not Fair, And It Never Has Been, And It's Never Going To Be.

There Have Been Five Great Kisses Since 1642 B.c. When Saul And Delilah Korn's Inadvertent Discovery Swept Across Western Civilization. (before Then Couples Hooked Thumbs.) And The Precise Rating Of Kisses Is A Terribly Difficult Thing, Often Leading To Great Controversy, Because Although Everyone Agrees With The Formula Of Affection Times Purity Times Intensity Times Duration, No One Has Ever Been Completely Satisfied With How Much Weight Each Element Should Receive. But On Any System, There Are Five That Everyone Agrees Deserve Full Marks. Well, This One Left Them All Behind.

Never Argue With Your Wife About Hostility When She's A Certified Freudian.

For You See Each Day I Love You More Today More Than Yesterday And Less Than Tomorrow. Just Because You're Beautiful And Perfect, It's Made You Conceited.

Life Isn't Fair. It's Just Fairer Than Death, That's All.