You Can Pour Melted Ice Cream On

I've Eaten Weird Things Through The Course Of My Life. I've Eaten Wild Game, I've Eaten Possum - Possum's No Good.

I Have Some Weird Habits. For Instance, I Love Beets. Show Me A Salad Bar And I Will Clean Them Out Of Their Beets.

The Key Is Just To Ignore The Pain, Because Physical Comedy Only Works If You See Someone Get Hurt And They Aren't Actually Hurt. If Someone Gets Hit In The Face With A Bat, Falls Down, And Gets Back Up, It's Funny. If They Stay Down And Their Jaw Is Wired Shut In The Next Scene, It's Really Tragic And Weird. You Have To Pretend It Doesn't Hurt.

America Is At War. Go Eat A Donut.

I Think Any Man Over 250 Pounds Rollerblading Is Instant Hilarity. There's Nothing Funnier Than A Giant, Grown Man Rollerblading.