You Can't Brace Yourself For Famine If

To Say That A Humorist Exaggerates To Get Big Laughs, I Don't See How That's Big News.

Sallie Mae Sounds Like A Naive And Barefoot Hillbilly Girl But In Fact They Are A Ruthless And Aggressive Conglomeration Of Bullies Located In A Tall Brick Building Somewhere In Kansas. I Picture It To Be The Tallest Building In That State And I Have Decided They Hire Their Employees Straight Out Of Prison.

I Can't Seem To Fathom That The Things Important To Me Are Not Important To Other People As Well, And So I Come Off Sounding Like A Missionary, Someone Whose Job It Is To Convert Rather Than Listen.

I Attributed Their Behavior To The Fact That They Didn't Have A Tv, But Television Didn't Teach You Everything. Asking For Candy On Halloween Was Called Trick-or-treating, But Asking For Candy On November First Was Called Begging, And It Made People Uncomfortable. This Was One Of The Things You Were Supposed To Learn Simply By Being Alive, And It Angered Me That The Tomkeys Did Not Understand It.

There's A Reason Regular People Don't Appear On Tv: We're Boring.