You Can't Teach An Old Hater New

Saw A Lost Dog Sign With A Pic Of The Dog And A Little Boy Hugging It. I'm Assuming The Kids Safe And We're Just Focusing On The Pooch.

Ex-girlfriends Will Find Themselves In My New Routine. Sometimes They Like That, And Sometimes They Definitely Do Not. But Comedians Should Come With A Giant Warning Or Disclaimer: If You Date Me, It Will Be In My Act.

Vince Vaughn Is A Genuine Person, Awesome Guy. He'll Come To A Lot Of My Shows. It's Not That Often That You Can Meet Someone As Cool As Vince.

Start Each Day Out The Holy Way..with Christ Chex, It's A Miracle In A Bowl. Just Open The Box And You Hear Ahhhhh....and Then A Lil' Angel Flies Out And Says 'good Morning, Life Is Beautiful!'.

After You Have Loss In Your Life And After You Experience Something Like Losing Your Parents, The Greatest Gift Of That Was It Prepared Me For [anything]. Nothing Else Is As Scary, And Certainly Stand-up Comedy Is Not As Scary As Sitting There With Your Mom And Having To Have Last Conversations And Things Like That. It's Heavy Stuff, But It's Enlightening Because It Makes Me Think I Shouldn't Be Afraid Of Sharing Ideas And Thoughts With People. It's The Yin And The Yang Of Life.