You Can't Teach An Old Hater New

Any Guy That Refers To Dating Women As The Hunt Or Being On The Prowl Should Be Evaluated For A Number Of Conditions.

My Nickname For My Mom Was 'the Compass.'

Ex-girlfriends Will Find Themselves In My New Routine. Sometimes They Like That, And Sometimes They Definitely Do Not. But Comedians Should Come With A Giant Warning Or Disclaimer: If You Date Me, It Will Be In My Act.

Even When I Go To A Salad Bar, I Need To Feel Like I'm One Of The First People There.

I Can Always Get Better. A Lot Of My Ex-girlfriends Don't Think I'm Funny.