You Cannot Teach A Crab To Walk

An Insult Directed At The Wicked Is Not To Be Censured; On The Contrary, The Honest Man, If He Has Sense, Can Only Applaud.

Lysistrata: Oh, Calonicé, My Heart Is On Fire; I Blush For Our Sex. Men Will Have It We Are Tricky And Sly...calonicé: And They Are Quite Right, Upon My Word!lysistrata: Yet, Look You, When The Women Are Summoned To Meet For A Matter Of The Last Importance, They Lie Abed Instead Of Coming.calonicé: Oh, They Will Come, My Dear; But 'tis Not Easy You Know, For A Woman To Leave The House. One Is Busy Pottering About Her Husband; Another Is Getting The Servant Up; A Third Is Putting Her Child Asleep Or Washing The Brat Or Feeding It.

An Ancient Tradition Declares That Every Idiot Blunder We Pass Into Law Will Sooner Or Later Redound To Athens' Profit.

If I Get Clear Of My Debts, I Care Not Though Men Call Me Bold, Glib Of Tongue, Audacious, Impudent, Shameless, A Fabricator Of Falsehoods, Inventor Of Words, Practised In Lawsuits, A Pettifogger, A Rattle, A Fox, A Sharper, A Knave, A Dissembler, A Slippery Fellow, An Imposter, A Rogue That Deserves The Cat-o-nine-tails, A Blackguard, A Twister, A Licker-up Of Hashes; They Call All This When They Meet Me, If They Please, I Care Not.

When Men Drink, Then They Are Rich And Successful And Win Lawsuits And Are Happy And Help Their Friends. Quickly, Bring Me A Beaker Of Wine, So That I May Wet My Mind And Say Something Clever.