You Could Not Be Filled With Hate

Out Loud I Said I Had Two Children. Silently I Said Three. I Always Felt Like Apologizing To Her For That.

Sometimes Holly Seemed Like She Wasn't Paying Attention, And Other Times She Was Gone When I Went Looking For Her. That Was When She Went To A Part Of Heaven We Didn't Share. I Missed Her Then, But It Was And Odd Sort Of Missing Because By Then I Knew The Meaning Of Forever. I Could Not Have What I Wanted Most: Mr. Harvey Dead And Me Living. Heaven Wasn't Perfect. But I Came To Believe That If I Watched Closely, And Desired, I Might Change The Lives Of Those I Loved On Earth.

Inside The Snow Globe On My Father's Desk, There Was A Penguin Wearing A Red-and-white-striped Scarf. When I Was Little My Father Would Pull Me Into His Lap And Reach For The Snow Globe. He Would Turn It Over, Letting All The Snow Collect On The Top, Then Quickly Invert It. The Two Of Us Watched The Snow Fall Gently Around The Penguin. The Penguin Was Alone In There, I Thought, And I Worried For Him. When I Told My Father This, He Said, "don't Worry, Susie; He Has A Nice Life. He's Trapped In A Perfect World.

I Had Always Been In Love With Him. I Counted The Lashes Of Each Closed Eye. He Had Been My Almost, My Might Have Been, And I Did Not Want To Leave Him

You're Not Supposed To Look Back, You're Supposed To Keep Going.