You Don't Know Who To Believe. Like

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. The Time I Was Kidnapped, And The Kidnappers Sent My Parents A Note They Said, "we Want Five Thousand Dollars Or You'll See Your Kid Again."

I Remember I Was So Depressed I Was Going To Jump Out A Window On The Tenth Floor; They Sent A Priest Up To Talk To Me And He Said, ' On Your Mark...'

I Live In A Bad Neighborhood. Why, I Saw Two Complete Strangers Share A Taxi - Yeah, One Guy Took The Radio And The Other Guy Took The Tires.

I Asked My Wife If She Would Put Out The Garbage. She Said Why Should I You Never Put Out For Me.

A Man In The Crowd Asks: Hey Rodney, How'd You Get Started? Rodney: I Was 12 Years Old, Alone In My Room, And I Got Started!