You Know I'm Getting A Little Tired

When I Look At The Abnegation Lifestyle As An Outsider, I Think It’s Beautiful. When I Watch My Family Move In Harmony; When We Go To Dinner Parties And Everyone Cleans Together Afterward Without Having To Be Asked; When I See Caleb Help Strangers Carry Their Groceries, I Fall In Love With This Life All Over Again.

I Try To Catch My Breath And Calm Myself Down, But It Isn't Easy. I Was Dead. I Was Dead, And Then I Wasn't, And Why? Because Of Peter? Peter? I Stare At Him. He Still Looks So Innocent, Despite All That He Has Done To Prove That He Is Not. His Hair Lies Smooth Against His Head, Shiny And Dark, Like We Didn't Just Run For A Mile At Full Speed. His Round Eyes Scan The Stairwell And Then Rest On My Face. "what?" He Says. "why Are You Looking At Me Like That?" " How Did You Do It?" I Say.

It's Strange How Time Can Make A Place Shrink, Make Its Strangeness Ordinary.

There's A Reason Why She Left Them, Lauren," He Says. His Voice Is Deep, And It Rumbles. "what's Your Name?" "um..." I Don't Know Why I Hesitate. But "beatrice" Just Doesn't Sound Right Anymore. "think About It," He Says, A Faint Smile Curling His Lips. " You Don't Get To Pick Again." A New Place, A New Name. I Can Be Remade Here. "tris," I Say Firmly.

Do You Know Him Well?" I Ask.i Am Too Curious; I Always Have Been. "everyone Knows Four," She Says. "we Were Initiates Together.i Was Bad At Fighting,so He Taught Me Every Night After Everyone Was Asleep." She Scratches The Back Of Her Neck, Her Expression Suddenly Serious. "nice Of Him." She Gets Up And Stands Behind The Members Sitting In The Doorway. In A Second, Her Serious Expression Is Gone,but I Still Feel Rattled By What She Said, Half Confused By The Idea Of Four Being "nice" And Half Wanting To Punch Her For No Apparent Reason.