You Know Me. Any Excuse To Put

When Life Gives You Lemons....they Could Really Be Oranges.

Baloney Is Just Salami With An Inferiority Complex.

Just Go Up To Somebody On The Street And Say 'you're It!' And Then Run Away.

The Legend Goes That St. Patrick Drove The Snakes Out Of Ireland. I Was Thinking... That Must Be Hard To Put All The Tiny Seatbelts On All The Snakes.

People Always Ask Me, 'were You Funny As A Child?' Well, No, I Was An Accountant.