You Know What It Was Like? It

When Did The Cell Phone Become A License To Be Rude? And Why Must I Be Subjected To Your Personal Conversations?

Owning A Dog Is Slightly Less Expensive Than Being Addicted To Crack.

In Real Life, I Tend To Yell At People A Lot. Not Because I'm Bossy Or Mean, But Because I'm Frustrated.

I Can't Believe Anyone Would Voluntarily Run 26 Miles. Sometimes I Sit On The Couch Cross-legged Because I Don't Feel Like Walking To The Bathroom.

I Still Believe In The Holy Trinity, Except Now It's Target, Trader Joe's, And Ikea.