You Know What? The Obvious Is Obvious

But You Get Past That And Realize You Have To Let Go Of What You Think You Want. There'll Be Plenty Of Time For That Later. Right Now, Go And Be With That Baby. Just Play With This Beautiful Little Boy

That's The Nice Thing About Doing Stand-up. There's No Development, You Just Go Out There And Get An Immediate Response As To Whether Something Is Good Or Bad. Getting A Laugh Is The Best Measure Of How Well You're Doing.

The Most Rewarding Part About Being A Dad Is Just Looking At Children Who Didn't Exist At Some Point. The First Time You Saw Them, They Were The Size Of A Quarter, In A Sonogram, And Now They Can Pour Orange Juice And Yell At Each Other.

There Was A Period Where Our Child's Birth Was Getting Really Close, And We Still Had Nothing. We Were Dangerously Close To Calling Him Untitled Baby Project.

The Simple Combination Of Letters And Sounds You Select As A Name For Your Baby Can Result In A Life Of Carefree Coolness Or Decades Of Expensive Therapy. Hi, I'm Jake Versus Hi, I'm... Tapioca