You Look Like You Deep Fry Your

I'm Not A Comedy Writer, I'm A Comedian, So I Only Write Stuff That I Would Want To Say.

I Was Raised Catholic. I Rejected It Later On. I'm An Outspoken Atheist Now. People Say, 'oh, It's A Negative Thing To Be An Atheist.' I Don't Agree. I Think It's More Optimistic To Think That There Is No God, No Afterlife.

My Girlfriend Is Despicable. I Just Found Out She Flirted With My Brother, During My Mom's Funeral, While I Was Asleep.

I'm Fascinated By Offensive Subject Matter. Always Have Been. It Is Very Natural To Me, As Any Teach I've Ever Had Growing Up Could Attest.

When My Girlfriend Cooks Dinner, I'm Happy To Do The Dishes. Because I Make Her Wash Dishes When I Take Her To A Restaurant.