You Look Like You Deep Fry Your

My Girlfriend Asked Me If I Only Love Her For Her Body. I Said No, Baby. Just Parts Of It.

The Best Way To Break Up With A Girl Is Like I'm Taking Off A Band-aid. Slowly And In The Shower.

I Like The Idea Of Being The Funny Guy In The Dramatic Thing, Playing A Hit Man With A Weird Sense Of Humor.

I Let A Friend Set Me Up On A Blind Date. It Was A Disaster. She Ended Up Being A Burn Victim. By The End Of The Night.

Of All The Ways People Save Time, I Think Racism Is The Worst.