You Might Be A Redneck If You

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Parakeet Knows The Phrase Open Up, Police!

You Might Be A Redneck If You Consider A Good Tan To Be The Back Of Your Neck And The Left Arm Below The Shirt Sleeve.

When You're Young And You Get To Choose Between Sleep And Sex You Take Sex Everytime. You Start Getting Older, You Get To Choose Between Sleep And Sex, You Choose Sleep And Just Hope You Have A Dream About Sex.

I Notice My Wife When She's On The Phone With Her Friends, Man They Will Share Every Animate Details Of Their Lives With Each Other. See Men Once We Become Friends With Another Man We May Never Say Another Word To Him, Unless There's Valuable Information That Needs To Be Exchanged. Things Like "hey Jim, Your Shirt's On Fire."

You Might Be A Redneck If...your Belt Buckle Weighs More Than Three Pounds.