You Might Be A Redneck If Your

Watching A Baby Being Born Is A Little Like Watching A Wet St. Bernard Coming In Through The Cat Door.

My Wife Is So Analytical With Raising Kids, And I Am Not. My Feeling Is If They Turn Out Good, Then That Means I Was A Good Daddy And Put A Lot Of Effort Into It. If They Turn Out Bad, It Means They Took After Her Side Of The Family.

I Really Don't Require A Whole Lot In Life.

Being A Comedian, People Tell Me Stuff They Shouldn't Tell Their Therapist.

If You Have Ever Spray-painted Your Girlfriends Name On An Overpass, You Might Be A Redneck.