You Might Be A Redneck If You

If You're A Man And You've Ever Been Antique Shopping During A Big Football Game, You're Either Gay Or Married.

The More Excited The Rooster Gets, The Higher His Voice Goes. He's Got A Little Bit Of A Barney Fife Quality To Him.

For The First Time Ever I Was Taking The Family On The Road. We Stayed With My In-laws, Which On Life's List Of Experiences Ranks Right Below Sitting In A Tub Full Of Scissors.

People Are Like, Hey, Jeff, Lemme Tell You... I'm Like, Hold On, Let Me Get A Pen And A Piece Of Paper.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Think Silence Of The Lambs Is What Happens When Larry Walks Out To The Barn.