You’re In Competition With Everyone.

It Was Reported That The New York Knicks Have Won All 12 Of The Home Games Attended By Magician David Blaine. A Spokesman For The Knicks Said, 'if This Is What It Takes To Win, It's Not Worth It.'

I Was A Little Excited But Mostly Blorft. "blorft" Is An Adjective I Just Made Up That Means 'completely Overwhelmed But Proceeding As If Everything Is Fine And Reacting To The Stress With The Torpor Of A Possum.' I Have Been Blorft Every Day For The Past Seven Years.

I Hope For His Sake That Tracy's Apology Will Be Accepted As Sincere By His Gay And Lesbian Coworkers At 30 Rock, Without Whom Tracy Would Not Have Lines To Say, Clothes To Wear, Sets To Stand On, Scene Partners To Act With, Or A Printed-out Paycheck From Accounting To Put In His Pocket.

Only In Comedy, By The Way, Does An Obedient White Girl From The Suburbs Count As Diversity.

A New Study Suggests That Middle-aged Adults Who Go On Periodic Drinking Binges May Face A Heightened Risk Of Dementia Later On In Life. The Study Is Entitled, 'national Strategy For Victory In Iraq.'