You Run On The Treadmill. But You

My Parents Were Kind Of Over Protective People. Me And My Sister Had To Play In The Backyard All The Time. They Bought Us Bikes For Christmas But Wouldn't Let Us Ride In The Street, We Had To Ride In The Backyard. Another Christmas, My Dad Got Me A Basketball Hoop And Put It In The Middle Of The Lawn! You Can't Dribble On Grass.

Sometimes I Wish I Had A Terrible Childhood, So That At Least I'd Have An Excuse.

I Like Being Absurd. Being Silly.

I Feel Like I'm Being Too Zen. I'm Inhaling Too Much Patchouli And Incense. It's Embarrassing.

Steven Spielberg Is Going To Release A Biopic About Abraham Lincoln Next Year. Right, That's A Good Way To Honor Lincoln – By Sending People To The Theater.