You Run On The Treadmill. But You

Yesterday, The Supreme Court Spent Over An Hour Listening To Arguments On Whether Obamacare Is Unconstitutional. Yeah, Listening To Arguments About Obamacare For An Hour, Or As Most People Call That, 'thanksgiving Dinner.'

Department Store Santas Are Apparently Being Trained To Lower Children's Expectations About Toys Because Of The Recession. Yeah, It's Weird When You Ask Santa For A Train Set And He's Like, 'yeah, How 'bout A Bus Token?

While He Was In Utah, Obama Discussed Immigration Reform With Leaders Of The Mormon Church. Obama Introduced The First Lady. Then The Church's President Introduced His First Lady. And His Second Lady. And His Third, Fourth, And Fifth Ladies.

John Walker Lindh, A Twenty-year-old American Studying In Pakistan, Was Captured In Northern Afghanistan Fighting For The Taliban. Experts Call It The Worst Semester Abroad Program Ever.

A New Survey Found That 12 Percent Of Parents Punish Their Kids By Banning Social Networking Sites. The Other 88 Percent Punish Their Kids By Joining Social Networking Sites.