You Say 'erbs, And We Say Herbs

I'm Quite Good At Taking In Information So I Voraciously Inhale Wikipedia - Which May Have Some Things Wrong In It, But I Think Is Generally More Information Than We Had Before. Last Tour We Didn't Have Wikipedia. And Then Discovery Channel And History Channel. I Can Take It In And Retain What I Think Are The Most Important Facts.

Charles Darwin Wrote A Famous Book In 18 [gibberish]. And That Book Was An Interesting Book, Cuz It Was Called "monkey-monkey-monkey-monkey-monkey-monkey-you".

My Dad Said, "as Long As You're Happy." I Used To Think It Was Kind Of A Very Simple Idea Or Philosophy Because He Wasn't Religious. But You've Got To Try And Be Happy. And If You're Not Happy, You Can't Help Anyone Else. So Obviously, Some Crazy People Could Go To Places, But I Just Think You Need To Be Content Within Yourself, So That's The Thing.

Before Birds Get Sucked Into Jet Engines, Do They Ever Think, Is That Rod Stewart In First Class?

Puberty Is The Sickest Joke God Plays On Us. So You're Just Noticing Members Of The Sex: "girls Girls, Ooo". Naturally You Want To Look Your Best, And God Says "no! You Will Look The Worst You've Ever Looked In Your Life!"