You Shouldn't Be Eating Anything That Takes

Life Is Just The Time Between Crapping Yourself.

That's An Interesting Philosophical Question. When Your Boner Goes Away, Is That One Gone... Forever?

Chicks Named Tammy Have A Greater Chance Of Actually Driving A Mercedes Than A Chick Named Mercedes.

When You're Picking A Basketball Team, You'll Take The Brother Over The Guy With The Yarmulke. Why? Because You're Playing The Odds.

There's No Bigger Atheist Than Me. Well, I Take That Back. I'm A Cancer Screening Away From Going Agnostic And A Biopsy Away From Full-fledged Christian.