You Shouldn't Be Eating Anything That Takes

I Give Women Two Types Of Orgasms. Fake And None.

No One Is Depressed When They're Being Chased By A Bear.

Life Is Just The Time Between Crapping Yourself.

I Like My Parents But They Are Just Not Good Parents. They Are Nice Enough People. I'm Not Interested In Hurting Their Feelings.

No, I Had Not Read Any Other Comedian's Book. Not That I Don't Enjoy Other Comedians; I'm Just Not A Reader.