You've Buttered Your Bread, Now Sleep In

I Fully Realize That Every Promise I Make, The Republicans Will Double And The Democrats Will Redouble. They Think This Will Make Me Vulnerable, But They Don't Know I Have Some Tricks Up My Sleeve, Along With A Box Of Raisins To Munch On While I'm Waiting For The Returns To Come In.

Let's All Pull Together And Make These United States The Grandest Place In This Whole Country. I See A Vision. A Glorious Vision. A United People, Marching Forward Shoulder To Shoulder, Giving Their All For The Common Good, Working While I Whistle.

When I Was Born I Was So Surprised I Didn't Talk For A Year And A Half.

Today Millions Of People Are Living Who Will Never Do It Again. Millions Are Being Born For The First Time - And Millions Are Doing Nothing Because It's The Best Offer They've Had This Week. It Is For These People And Many Others That The Surprise Party Is Conceived And Desecrated, Founded Upon The Principle That Everybody Is Just As Good As Anybody Else, Even Though They Aren't Quite So Smart.

Smartness Runs In My Family. When I Went To School I Was So Smart My Teacher Was In My Class For Five Years.