You've Got To Be Careful Smoking Weed.

Yesterday Was Election Day. If We Have Any Democrats In The Audience, I'm Sorry But You're Going To Have To Give Up Your Seats.

Meryl Streep Is On The Program Tonight. I Like To Throw Her A Little Work Whenever I Can.

Former Governor Of Alaska, Sarah Palin, Is Promoting Her New Book And She's Going To Appear On The Oprah Winfrey Show. Sarah And Oprah. On The One Hand, A Very Powerful Woman Qualified To Be President Of The United States, And On The Other Hand, You Have Sarah ... But If You Think About It, Sarah Palin And Oprah Winfrey Have A Lot In Common. They Both Helped Get Obama Elected.

So They Caught Gadhafi In A Storm Sewer And Shot Him. Or As They Call It In The Middle East, An Orderly Transfer Of Power.

I Like That Sarah Palin. She Looks Like The Flight Attendant Who Won't Give You A Second Can Of Pepsi ... She Looks Like The Nurse Who Weighs You And Then Makes You Sit Alone In Your Underwear For 20 Minutes ... She Looks Like A Real Estate Agent Whose Picture You See On The Bus Stop Bench ... She Looks Like The Hygienist Who Makes You Feel Guilty About Not Flossing ... She Looks Like The Relieved Mom In A Tide Commercial.