You Want To Be As Smart As

Why Should I Waste My Good Time Making A Straight Dramatic Film? The People Who Can't Make You Laugh Can Do That.

An Egg Cream Can Do Anything. An Egg Cream To A Brooklyn Jew Is Like Water To An Arab. A Jew Will Kill For An Egg Cream. It's The Jewish Malmsey.

You're Always A Little Disappointing In Person Because You Can't Be The Edited Essence Of Yourself.

A Cinema Villain Essentially Needs A Moustache So He Can Twiddle With It Gleefully As He Cooks Up His Next Nasty Plan.

When I Was A Little Kid At Home, I Thought The Whole World Was Jewish. For Years I Thought Roosevelt Was Jewish. I Loved Him. I Thought Of Him As My Father. I'm Always Stunned When I Find Out That People Like Roosevelt And Tolstoy Weren't Jewish. How Could I Love Them So Much?