A Flu Shot Is The Worst Thing

If You Think Democrats Are Going To Take Away Your Bible, You're An Idiot. If You Think They Are Going To Take Away Your Gun, You're An Armed Idiot. If You Think They're Going To Take Away Your Gun And Give It To A Mexican To Kill Your God, You're Bill O'reilly.

What Is With This Campy Fixation On All Things Ronald Reagan? They Talk About Him The Way Gay People Talk About Barbra Streisand. I Think They Want Him On A Stamp So They Can Lick His Ass. I Think They Wanted To Name Airports After Him So They Can Say, "i'm Coming Into Reagan!"

People On The Right Say To People Like Me, Oh, You Hate America. And I Always Say, No, I Love America. I Want It Back. I Don't Want You Representing It. I Don't Want Torture Representing It. If I Hated It, I'd Be Okay With Being Represented By The Torturers.

I Kid Fox News, But They May Be A Little Biased. We Had An Earthquake Here On Monday, And They Reported That 'the Earth's Crust Was Emboldened By Obama's Weakness.'

Why Did Mitt Romney Strap His Dog To The Roof Of His Car? Could It Be Because His Station Wagon Was Full Of Wives?