A Hooker Once Told Me She Had

My Doctor Told Me To Watch My Drinking. Now I Drink In Front Of A Mirror.

At My Age I'm Envious Of A Stiff Wind.

It Was The Same Thing In The Army, No Respect. They Gave Me A Uniform That Glowed In The Dark.

I Drink Too Much, Way Too Much; My Doctor Drew Blood He Ran A Tab!

With My Wife I Don't Get No Respect. I Made A Toast On Her Birthday To 'the Best Woman A Man Ever Had.' The Waiter Joined Me.