A Little Inaccuracy Sometimes Saves A Ton

A Relative Of Mine ... Spends His Time Producing Improved Breeds Of Sheep And Pigs And Chickens. So Patronising And Irritating To Teh Almighty, I Should Think.

Whenever A Massacre Of Armenians Is Reported From Asia Minor, Every One Assumes That It Has Been Carried Out "under Orders" From Somewhere Or Another; No One Seems To Think That There Are People Who Might Like To Kill Their Neighbours Now And Then.

By Insisting On Having Your Bottle Pointing To The North When The Cork Is Being Drawn, And Calling The Waiter Max, You May Induce An Impression On Your Guests Which Hours Of Laboured Boasting Might Be Powerless To Achieve. For This Purpose, However, The Guests Must Be Chosen As Carefully As The Wine.

Mother, May I Go And Maffick, Tear Around And Hinder Traffic?

The Censorious Said She Slept In A Hammock And Understood Yeats's Poems, But Her Family Denied Both Stories.