A Lot Of People Say To Me,

I Would Become A Priest Or A Rabbi Or A Monk Or Whatever The Hell Was Necessary To Perform Miracles Such As Taking Money From Someone Else's Pocket And Putting It Into Mine, Still Remaining Within The Confines Of The Law.

Communism Is Just One Big Telephone Company.

You Got To Pay Your Dues To Get The Joke. Besides, Laughter Is Cheap And Very Portable. If There's A Pogrom, Or They're Blaming You For The Plague, Nothing Is Easier To Pack Than A Sense Of Humor.

If You're Going To Stop Masturbating, You Can't Taper Off. You've Got To Quit, Cold Jerky!

Never Trust A Preacher With More Than Two Suits.