A Lot Of The Teachings Really Kind

I Don't Think Comedians Make An Active Decision To Be A Certain "persona." Comedians Write The Way They're Going To Write.

You Don't Use Mayonnaise, Why? ... Are You Addicted To Mayonnaise? Is It Okay If I Use Mayonnaise? I Could Go Outside.

I Grew Up 45 Minutes Outside Of Chicago.

Gyms Are Always Packed. The Only Machine Available Is The One That Simulates The Gynecological Exam. You Know, The Sharon Stone Machine.

Don't Get Caught Up In Other People's Expectations. Don't Take Anything For Granted, Either.