A Sleeping Bag Is A Tortilla For

I Don't Wear A Watch Because I Want My Arms To Weigh The Same. So If Somebody Asks Me What Time It Is, I Have To Tell Them Something That Is Going On. "what Time Is It, Mitch?" "uh, That Guy Is Eating A Hamburger." "shi*, I Had To Be Somewhere..."

Every Time I Walk By A Spy Shop, I Think That I Need To Put Some Surveillance On Somebody. Rick's Been Acting Fishy! I Need To Buy A Safe That Looks Like A Spray 'n Wash Can. "hey, Mitch, Can I Use The Spray 'n Wash?" "yeah, If You Want To Spray Your Shirt With Documents!"

I Had A Bag Of Fritos, They Were Texas Grilled Fritos. These Fritos Had Grill Marks On Them. They Remind Me Of Summer, When We Used To Fire Up The Barbeque And Throw Down Some Fritos. I Can Still See My Dad With The Apron On. Better Flip That Frito, Dad, You Know How I Like It.

My Girlfriend Works At Hooters. In The Kitchen.

I Bought A House, It's A Two Bedroom House, But I Think It's Up To Me To Decide How Many Bedrooms There Are. This Bedroom Has An Oven In It. This Bedroom Has A Lot Of People Sitting Around Watching Tv. This Bedroom Is Over In That Other Guy's House.