When You Go To A Bar That

I Know People Who Believe In Ghosts But Don’t Believe In Themselves. It’s Kind Of Sad. Okay You Don’t Think You’ll Ever Make It As A Musician, But Last Night You Saw A Translucent Caveman.

I Want To Get A Job Naming Kitchen Appliances. That Seems Easy; Refrigerator, Toaster, Blender. You Just Say What The Thing Does And Add "er".

I've Got A Wallet, It's Orange. In Case I Wanna Buy A Deer. That Doesn't Make Any Sense At All.

I Saw This Wino, He Was Eating Grapes. I Was Like, "dude, You Have To Wait".

You Know When You See An Advertisement For A Casino, And They Have A Picture Of A Guy Winning Money? That's False Advertising, Because That Happens The Least. That's Like If You're Advertising A Hamburger, They Could Show A Guy Choking. "this Is What Happened Once."