When I Was A Boy, I Laid

Well, I Was Lost But Now I Live Here! I Have Severely Improved My Predicament!

When You Open The Elevator On The Top Floor Of A Building And The Other Guy Doesn't Get Out, Something Is Seriously Wrong.

I Didn't Go To College, But If I Did, I Would've Taken All My Tests At A Restaurant, 'cause 'the Customer Is Always Right'.

You Know When You See An Advertisement For A Casino, And They Have A Picture Of A Guy Winning Money? That's False Advertising, Because That Happens The Least. That's Like If You're Advertising A Hamburger, They Could Show A Guy Choking. "this Is What Happened Once."

I Bought A Seven-dollar Pen Because I Always Lose Pens And I Got Sick Of Not Caring.