When I Was A Boy, I Laid

I Went To A Pizzeria. The Guy Gave Me The Smallest Slice Possible. If The Pizza Was A Pie Chart With What Would You Do If You Found A Million Dollars, He Gave Me The "donate It To Charity" Slice. "i'd Like To Exchange This For The 'keep It!'"

I Have An Oscillating Fan At My House. It Goes Back And Forth. It Looks Like The Fan Is Saying "no." So I Like To Ask It Questions That A Fan Would Say "no" To! Do You Keep My Hair In Place? Do You Keep My Documents In Order? Do You Have 3 Settings? Liar! My Fan Lied To Me. Now I Will Pull The Pin Up. Now You're Not Saying Anything!

Alcoholism Is A Disease, But It's The Only One You Can Get Yelled At For Having. Goddamn It Otto, You Are An Alcoholic. Goddamn It Otto, You Have Lupus... One Of Those Two Doesn't Sound Right.

That Would Be Cool If The Earth's Crust Was Made Out Of Graham Cracker. It Would Disappear Just Like The Ozone Layer, But For Completely Different Reasons.

I Have No Problem Not Listening To The Temptations.