A Study Says Owning A Dog Makes

That Baby Is So Ugly... I've Never Seen A Six-month-old So Desperately In Need Of A Wax.

Elizabeth Taylor Has More Chins Than The Chinese Telephone Directory.

[on Plastic Surgery:] My Motto Is: 'anything That Can Be Lifted Should Be Lifted. Anything That Falls Should Be Caught. And Try To Catch Any Falling Stuff Before It Hits The Ground.

I Was So Ugly That My Parents Sent My Picture To 'ripley's Believe It Or Not' - They Sent It Back And Said, "we Don't Believe It."

I Like My Politicians And My Judges And My Lawyers To Be Simple. I Think If You Worry About Where Your Hemline Is You're Really Not Concentrating On The World Crisis.