A Wednesday With No Rain Is A

Halloween's My Favorite Holiday Because You Don't Have To Spend It With Your Family.

I Want To Launch A Globe Into Space Just To Mess With The Astronauts.

Sometimes Heckling Can Almost Help A Set, Because It Ratchets Up The Tension In The Room... Can Even Bring Things To A Climax.

I Wasn't The Class Clown, But I Was Starting To Become The "crazy Guy" At Law School, Which Is The Guy Who Is Not So Much "crazy" As "annoying."

I Go The Gym And I Try To Run On The Treadmill And I Listen To Music But It Doesn't Motivate Me Enough. So I'm Going To Get A Recording Of A Pack Of Wolves Gaining On Me. People Would Be Like, 'why Is That Guy Crying On That Treadmill Over There?' 'i Don't Know, But He's Been Yelling, 'help' For Like 20 Minutes. He's Getting A Good Workout.